Pish posh pumpkin squash.
Posted: 1 day ago ● 18,520 notesReblog

cyrilliart:

where’s zayn? better question; who is zayn?

(via berrywinstyles)

Posted: 3 days ago ● 173,372 notesReblog

battlereadyprince:

monk-of-space:

a motorcycle gang made up of ancient bisexual norse monarchs: the bikings

I JUST REALIZED THAT THIS POST IS 4 PUNS IN ONE OH MY GODDDDD

(via kuroukuriko)

#funny #text 
Posted: 4 days ago ● 139,317 notesReblog

lvrnemalvo:

monobeartheater:

arcticmowsy:

aerostarmonk:

The man entered his home and was absolutely delighted when he discovered someone had stolen every lamp in the house.

oh my god

i just do not understand this post what even

OH MY FUCKING GOD

(via fuckyeahtxtposts)

#funny #text 
Posted: 4 days ago ● 142,936 notesReblog

heteroh:

prostituteryan:

radryro:

prostituteryan

I LOOKED UP CACTUS PUNS

THIS IS INCREDIBLE.

Are these drake lyrics

(via officialfrenchtoast)

#funny 
Posted: 4 days ago ● 25,247 notesReblog

sixpenceee:

If only everything really complicated was explained this way. 

THE AUTHOR & MORE OF HIS BOOKS

#science 
Posted: 4 days ago ● 19,028 notesReblog

sixpenceee:

our-blades-are-sharp:

sixpenceee:

Here’s a fun little trick: take children’s clothes, dip them in water and hold them in place until they freeze like this. When the weather starts to get a little warmer, the invisible children slowly melt to the ground. 

I can sense a million new horror pranks or new ideas for creepy stories this way. 

Wow, thanks there Satan.

Y̜͎͖͔O̘͚͖̩̰͚̗͢U͢’̨̯̞̰̖̥̜R̶E̷͚̼͇̳̙̻̞ ̣͎͖̟̥Ẃ͇͖̪Ȩ̞L̨̬̳C͠O͍̪M̮͎̯͞E͈̖̗͇͉

Posted: 4 days ago ● 158,142 notesReblog

femharry:

i will always assume indirects are about me. you could make a post/tweet like “ugh i hate that you raised me this way” and i’d be like i’m sorry i shouldn’t have done that

(Source: getsby, via thedailylaughs)

#same #text 
Posted: 4 days ago ● 266,228 notesReblog

the-lovely-stoner:

verylittlebird:

this is the sort of web content i am looking to see every day

This is why i Internet

(via kori-dori)

#animal #cute 
Posted: 4 days ago ● 72,885 notesReblog

telernarketing:

talking to someone and they go offline straight away

image

(via kuroukuriko)

Posted: 5 days ago ● 245,002 notesReblog

nurdsite:

My buddy Tom baked a cake for his Argentinian friend to cheer her up after the world cup loss.

…they are no longer friends.

(via stitchedwixch)